|
OK, I lied when I said I never went to one of Martha's little slime producing parties. Well sorta lied, I didn't go but I sent my main friend and co-conspirator Jason out there with our webmistress of fun Lan equipped with a plan and a ziplock baggy. The plan was for them to visit a ceremony of Martha's and for Lan to distract her long enough for Jason to grab one of those "ectoplasmic" things and bring it back.
Well of course things never end up going according to plan when Jason is involved and to make a long story short, he got the ectoplasm but the good ole' boys in Casadega are probably still looking for him. last I heard Martha had packed up shop and moved to New York. That's probably a more hospitable place anyway for someone who likes to burp up stuff.
So what did Jason and Lan come back with? I sent the weird green thing with the face on it over to a local company that do tests on items to determine their chemical structure. Usually they deal with toxic waste found in groundwater and stuff like that so I think this was the first time they was looking at something from someone's mouth. Here's the letter I got back (this 1 page report cost me $200 bucks!)
So her mouth is full of enzymes, not very spooky, huh? But how is Martha able to manipulate them into producing solid forms? I called up a friend of a friend, Bob Dertmann who happens to be a Doctor and even he had no idea.
"Normally enzymes operate at a level that is undetectable to us," Dr. Bob told me over the phone. "I can think of no records where anyone had conscious control of any enzymes. Some of the ones listed on your report are generated by the small and lower intestine and should not even be found in the mouth. I'm sorry but I can't explain it."
"I can't explain it" is the story of my life. If anyone out there in freakdom land has any clues drop me a line, I'd sure love to know how Martha does her parlor tricks.
|